Understanding Shame and Self-Esteem
Dive into the intricate dynamics between shame and self-worth, with expert guidance to foster healing, growth and self acceptance.
The Nature of Shame
Uncover how shame develops and its impact on personal identity and confidence.
Building Healthy Self-Esteem
Discover practical approaches to nurture resilience and self-acceptance.
Therapeutic Tools
Access strategies and therapies designed to transform shame and elevate self-esteem.
Low Self‑Esteem & Shame Work Therapy in Bedford
Rebuild confidence, soften self‑criticism, and reconnect with your inherent worth.
Low self‑esteem and shame can quietly shape every part of life — how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and what you believe you deserve. These patterns often begin in childhood, trauma, or long‑term emotional neglect, and they can leave you feeling small, not enough, or fundamentally flawed.
You don’t have to keep living from that place. With the right support, these patterns can shift.
What Is Low Self‑Esteem & Shame?
Low self‑esteem is more than a lack of confidence. It’s a deep‑rooted belief that you are inadequate, unworthy, or “not good enough.” Shame is the emotional core of this — a painful sense that something is wrong with you at your very centre.
Shame often develops from:
- Childhood criticism, rejection, or emotional neglect
- Trauma, including sexual abuse or relational trauma
- Growing up in environments where love was conditional
- Bullying, exclusion, or chronic comparison
- Cultural or family messages about perfection, success, or identity
Shame is powerful because it hides. It convinces you to stay quiet, stay small, and stay unseen.
How Low Self‑Esteem & Shame Are Experienced
Internal Experiences
- Constant self‑criticism or harsh inner dialogue
- Feeling like a burden, failure, or disappointment
- Difficulty accepting compliments
- Feeling “not enough” no matter what you achieve
- Chronic guilt or apologising for everything
- Fear of being judged, rejected, or exposed
Emotional & Physical Symptoms
- Anxiety, especially social anxiety
- Depression or emotional numbness
- Tightness in the chest, stomach knots, or heaviness
- Feeling disconnected from your body
Relationship Patterns
- People‑pleasing or over‑functioning
- Staying in unhealthy relationships
- Avoiding conflict or expressing needs
- Feeling responsible for others’ emotions
Behavioural Patterns
- Perfectionism
- Procrastination
- Avoiding opportunities or visibility
- Overworking to prove worth
If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone — and it’s not your fault. These patterns were learned for survival.
How I Work With Low Self‑Esteem & Shame
My approach is gentle, relational, and trauma‑informed. Shame cannot survive in safe connection — so we start there.
1. Creating Safety & Understanding Your Story
We explore where these beliefs began, how they protected you, and how they show up today. I help you understand the emotional logic behind your patterns so you can stop blaming yourself.
2. Working With the Inner Critic
We soften the harsh internal voice using:
- Compassion‑focused therapy
- Parts work (Internal Family Systems‑informed)
- Mindfulness‑based emotional regulation
You learn to recognise the critic not as “the truth,” but as a protective part that can be renegotiated.
3. Healing Shame at Its Roots
Shame dissolves when it is met with empathy, not silence. Together we work through:
- Childhood wounds
- Trauma memories
- Internalised messages about worth, identity, or safety
This is slow, steady work — but deeply transformative.
4. Rebuilding Self‑Worth
We develop a more grounded, compassionate sense of self through:
- Boundary work
- Embodied confidence practices
- Reconnecting with strengths, values, and needs
- Learning to take up space without fear
5. Integrating Change Into Daily Life
You’ll learn practical tools to:
- Challenge old beliefs
- Regulate emotions
- Build healthier relationships
- Make choices from self‑worth rather than fear
This work isn’t about becoming someone new — it’s about returning to who you were before shame took over.
Who This Work Is For
This therapy is especially supportive if you:
- Struggle with self‑criticism or perfectionism
- Feel unworthy, invisible, or “too much”
- Have a history of trauma or emotional neglect
- Want to build confidence and healthier relationships
- Are tired of living from fear, guilt, or shame
Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the difference between shame and guilt?
Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “There is something wrong with me.” Shame is deeper, more painful, and often rooted in early experiences.
Can shame really be healed?
Yes. Shame is relational — it forms in unsafe relationships and heals in safe ones. With consistent, compassionate therapeutic work, shame loses its power.
How long does this work take?
It varies. Shame work is deep and often connected to trauma, so we move at a pace that feels safe. Many clients begin noticing shifts within a few months.
Do I need to talk about my past?
Only if and when you feel ready. We work collaboratively, and you remain in control of what you share.
Is this therapy suitable if I’ve experienced trauma?
Absolutely. My approach is trauma‑informed and grounded in safety, pacing, and emotional regulation.
Can this help with confidence at work or in relationships?
Yes. As shame softens, confidence, boundaries, and self‑trust naturally strengthen.
Begin Your Shame Healing & Self‑Esteem Work
If you’re ready to stop living from self‑doubt and start reconnecting with your worth, I’m here to support you.